Some Thoughts About Pizza Cones

On Saturday I attended Boise State’s destruction of Connecticut, and I took a moment at halftime to check out the stadium food options.

I recognized most of the vendors from games past. But I also discovered something new and delightful: a pizza cone stand.

Seeing this stand caused a brief internal struggle. It went something like this:

ME: It’s after 10pm. Should I eat something called a pizza cone?

MY COLON: That’s gonna be a no for me dawg.

So I wimped out and did not try a pizza cone. But, I did snap a quick picture of the pizza cone operation. And I now present it for analysis:


Wait a second. I can barely see the pizza cones.



Ah, much better. Now, what’s going on here?

First, when you think of a pizza cone, you think of an actual pizza that has just been wrapped up in a cone shape, right? Well, you naive child, take a look above the oven. There are strange, pallid premade pizza cones just floppin around up there. They make me uncomfortable and I don’t know why.

Second, and more importantly, CHECK OUT THAT OVEN! It’s a toaster, but it’s also a merry-go-round. Each stuffed pizza sleeve needs just one orbit in that baby to transform into a golden, toasty pizza cone.

Which tastes… probably good?

That’s all I have to say about pizza cones. As you were. ∎

4 thoughts on “Some Thoughts About Pizza Cones

  1. Anonymous

    If your colon changes its’ mind about that pizza cone choice on another day and at another time, there is a pizza cone, called Coned I think, bricks and mortar set up in Meridian. You could try it. I wouldn’t. But you could.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Anonymous

    Henry – I just read your column on “pizza” cones. Your Italian ancestors are not amused. There are rules. And Italy is the country of the most amazing food on the planet. How far from Napoli can you get? You don’t keep the pizza shape, no San Marzano tomatoes grown on the volcanic plains of Mt. Vesuvius, no stone oven…. this is disgraceful. If you pour mashed potatoes in a cone can you call it ice cream??? Are you trying to give your Italian grandmother a heart attack? This is not PIZZA. They need to find another name. I suggest “philistine conical object.” 😡


  3. Anonymous

    I only admire journalists who subject themselves to pain for great content. I demand a review on a pizza cone! How hot does the sauce get at the tip? What is the cheese to dough ratio? Do the olives fall disappointingly to the center? I want… no…NEED..answers.


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